“You, Mister Potter, need someone to talk to before you do something we’ll both regret, and I am here to listen.”
I looked down at my feet remembering the reason I had come to his room. He cupped my cheek again pulling my face back up.
“You were going to weren’t you?”
A tear rolled down my cheek and a nodded. He sighed.
“Then why did you come here?”
“I wanted to tell you that I love you, and that I could never blame you for what happened.”
My words were barely a whisper. He gently raised my lips to his and kissed me cautiously. I kissed back softly, melting into his arms, feeling safe and relaxed for once. I never wanted to leave. I just wanted to stay here and feel whole again. He broke our kiss and I nestled my face into the crook of his neck.
“Do you feel better now, Mr. Potter?”
I smiled a little as he ran his fingers through my hair. I yawned and he shifted to look at my face. I was so tired; I hadn’t slept properly in a while. He opened his mouth to say something, but then paused, rethinking what he’d been about to say. I looked up hopefully.
“Do you want to stay with me tonight?”
“But… what if Dumbledore finds out?”
“He’s been trying to find a way to get you back to a somewhat normal state. I don’t believe he’d object to a good night’s sleep for once.”
So he led me to the big bed I described before, laying down and holding his arms open to me. I happily cuddled into his protective embrace and he wrapped us up in the silky sheets.
I slept all through the night for once in months. I dreamed about the good old days before the rape, before I became broken and worthless. I wanted to feel like that again. I felt Severus shift in his sleep and mumble something that I though sounded like a whispered “I love you.”
My heart soared and hope swelled, but I knew not to get my hopes up, he didn’t love me, he had loved my mother, and he was probably just dreaming about her. I blocked out thoughts of him not loving me. He arms tightened around me pulling me closer to him. His scent was intoxicating, and his warmth inviting. I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of fear that he would take advantage of me, but my fear was irrational.
I woke up the next morning and felt those powerful arms still wrapped protectively around me. I twisted to that I was facing him. His usually stress-contorted face was peaceful. I kissed his lips softly and he stirred a little pulling me closer to him again.
“Hmm, I love you Harry.”
He kissed the top of my head. I kissed his bare chest and sighed contently, I smile plastered to my face.
“I love you too Severus.”
I looked over to the clock; almost time for classes to start. I kissed his lips softly to wake him up. His eyes fluttered open and he kissed back softly, rubbing my arms. I didn’t want to get up; I didn’t want to lose the only closeness I’d ever have to this man, but I had to get ready and so did he, so we got up. He pulled out a Slytherin uniform and cast a spell changing it from silver and green to red and yellow and the Slytherin crest to a Gryffindor crest then handed it to me. It was rather old from the feel of it, but it looked like it would fit.
I pulled on the uniform and went to his bathroom to fix my hair. He walked in and wrapped his arms around my waist kissing my neck softly.
“We must act like nothing has changed Mr. Potter.”
My eyes widened. I didn’t want to go back to being that numb shell, I loved feeling again. He looked at my face in the mirror.
“I didn’t mean that we couldn’t do this again, or that you had to be scared again.”
I let out a sigh of relief. I turned and snuggled into his arms and kissed him softly. I wasn’t really ready to face the world without him, but I knew I couldn’t put it off much longer.
“Now none of that, outside of class call me Severus.”
“Severus, did you mean it when you said you loved me?”
“Of course I did,” he cupped my chin and gazed into my eyes for a moment, “and never think any different.”
I smiled, “But, what about Draco?”
He shook his head sighing. I couldn’t tell if it was because he hadn’t thought about him, or if it was because he’d thought too much, but it was obvious that he was unhappy about the mention of the sarcastic blonde.
“He can go get himself eaten by trolls for all I care.”
I giggled a little and then looked at the time. I needed to hurry and get to class as did Severus, not so weird to think his name, since I always had, but actually calling him by it at times like these would be awkward for a while.
I rushed into my last class of the day, Potions, and took the same seat as always and waited for Severus to come to start the class. I had completely forgotten about Draco and was beaming with happiness for once, and then he walked in and sat harshly down in his usual place with his arm still a little scared from its injuries.
“What the hell are you so happy about Potter?”
I lost a little bit of my joy and shrunk back from his viciousness.
“Guess what I did all night Potter,” he whispered so nobody else could hear, “I fucked Snape all night long.”
I acted hurt and turned away before smiling like an idiot. He had been lying from the start and that made me feel better. Severus walked in and slammed a book down, making everyone jump.
“Take out your potions books and turn to page 132. Read the directions carefully and clean up after you’re done.”
I flipped my book open and made the assigned potion before bottling it and turning it in.
“Mr. Potter, if there a reason you’ve made the wrong potion?”
“I didn’t, see!”
I turned my book around.
“That is the wrong page, I said page 132, not 123; however, you have brewed a very nice batch of Amortentia, of course, you know we have no need for love potions here at Hogwarts, so you will be given no credit for this assignment.”
A smug smirk adorned Malfoy’s face. I just smiled knowing it was all an act, and that tonight I’d be happily snuggled into Severus’ arms. I cleaned up my area and class was soon dismissed. I went about the rest of my day in a much better mood and Ron and Hermione noticed.
“What had you in such a good mood, Harry?” Hermione asked.
“I don’t know; it’s just such a nice day out.”
“Well where were you last night?”
I turned to Ron who had asked.
“I was just not feeling good; I stayed in the bathroom almost all night.”
“Oh, ok, but you’re feeling better now?”
I nodded and we walked to our common room and washed up before going down to dinner. I actually ate for once and accidentally caught myself looking at Severus a few times before dinner was over.
Soon it was time for us to go on up to bed. I pulled on my sleep pants and a white tank top and waited for everyone to fall asleep before slipping out to go back to Severus.