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Breathe by Redrum
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Author's Notes:

This is a collaberation between myself and Okami Ryu. 

Thank you to I Got Tired of Waiting and Mila for beta reading this story for us.  All remaining mistakes are our own.

Severus sighed contently and pulled the lithe form beside him closer, fully aware that it must be mid morning, but not really caring. School had just gotten out for the summer yesterday, and after the hell that was exams, he and his husband had more than earned the extra sleep. It was a pity that lovemaking couldn’t have been the cause for their exhaustion.

Now that he thought of it, Severus was immensely glad it was summer. Stress had been leaving Harry so tense lately that even if they did have a brief chance for intimacy he would shy away. It had been a shot to Severus’ pride and they had argued over it briefly, but Harry persisted that it was just stress and, knowing how hard things could get sometimes, Severus begrudgingly backed off.

It was strange though… Harry flat out refused anything below the waist, but seemed to have no objections to cuddling. If anything, he sought cuddling more. Sometimes Severus would see something in his eyes almost like fear, but he had promised to believe Harry when he claimed it was just stress and tried to console him to the best of his abilities.  Not that it was hard. Severus, though he would never admit it, was rather fond of cuddling as well. Hopefully now that it was summer there would be a bit more than that in the physical part of their relationship.

From the way Harry was so limp in his arms, Severus could tell he was sleeping deeply and was grateful for it. Harry had seemed so on edge lately; he deserved a good nights’ rest.

Opening his eyes, Severus smiled down at Harry in the dim light of their dungeon chambers.  He must have been feeling nostalgic, for he started to think about the time when he and Harry had initially gotten together.

Harry had been twenty five at the time, having defeated Voldemort just months before. Everyone who had been involved in the war was still on a high alert and working to clean up the last of the vengeful rogue Death Eaters. It had been a cold stormy night in late fall when they’d started rounding up the very last of the rogues. Of course, the last group of dangerous Death Eaters had to be the hardest to control. Severus wasn’t even conscious the whole battle. He was still high strung and weary from the war when he had been hit with a new, and particularly vicious, curse that had shattered all the bones in his right leg and left his back riddled with cuts.

He had come to many hours later in the infirmary in excruciating pain as Madam Pomfrey fed him a cocktail of potions to try to repair his wounded leg and back. His back had been healed by morning, but because of the nature of the curse, the bones had to be rebuilt instead of simply removing them and growing another set of leg bones. He would forever have a limp in damp weather and, as he later learned, during intense emotional situations.

Once he’d choked down the many potions, Severus laid back, prepared to glare at the ceiling all night until the pain in his leg ebbed enough for him to get to sleep. His sulking was interrupted by the entrance of one rule breaking Harry Potter slipping into the infirmary.  Severus was speechless as the young man widened the hospital bed where Severus was prone, and slipped in beside him under the covers, mindful of his injuries. Severus had tried to protest at first, but Harry was persistent and, having formed a friendship with the younger man the last year of the war, Severus had learned the value of choosing his battles with him.

To his great surprise it turned out to be quite soothing, having Harry gently curled up with him. After a long period of silence, Harry’s voice cut through the silence.  The young man proceeded to tell him a bed time story.  Severus was mildly surprised, but said nothing. It wasn’t a particularly good story, but the gesture was unnervingly touching. Of all the people who had ever tended to him when he was ill, no one ever showed signs of keeping him company and doing something for him as time consuming as telling him stories until he fell asleep. Severus had slept quite deeply that night--much to his surprise.

An even greater surprise was that upon waking, he'd found that Harry was still there, curled around him and fast asleep. He had on fresh clothes, and on the nightstand there were several books that Severus enjoyed reading, along with breakfast for two.  Harry had come back.  He had stayed. No one had ever stayed.

Harry spent the next week reading to Severus, playing chess with him, and just generally nursing him back to health. By a month’s time, Harry was still there to help Severus carry large cauldrons and other heavy objects.  Their relationship turned romantic around that time.  After all this time, Severus was still appreciative of the fact that Harry had stayed and tended to him.  Severus was a man accustomed to being left behind.  He would never forget the kindness Harry had shown to him on that night and the days that followed.

Smiling contently, he pulled said husband closer, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his head; content to do nothing but lie with him and doze until the young man rose from his slumber.

Harry woke up gradually, yawning as he blinked his eyes open, grateful for the low lighting in the dungeons. The thirty year old wizard turned within the tight arms encircling him and sleepily leaned up to kiss Severus. Their tongues languidly explored old territory before Harry backed up with another yawn. Severus adopted a slightly amused expression and slid his hand up and down Harry's slim side. The dark haired man bit his lip and gently wrapped his hand around the thick wrist when Severus' hand went to explore the area underneath his boxers (current circumstances called for them, despite his, and Severus’, enjoyment of sleeping nude). He raised the hand and lightly kissed the back of the bony knuckles, looking up beneath his long lashes at Severus apologetically before he gently dropped the hand and slid out of bed.

Padding to the bathroom, Harry shut and locked the door behind him before going about his usual routine, all the while trying to ignore his neither regions. When he was finished showering, he dried himself and, taking a deep breath, finally let his hand trail down his stomach, past his flaccid penis and to his right testicle. He tipped his head back and fought the urge to cry in frustration when he felt the lump. He knew he had to go to a doctor, the sooner the better. He just didn't want to alert Severus to the fact that he might be seriously ill. He was already damaged enough as it was.

Scars littered his body, despite the potions he'd took to recede some of them. The most prominent one ran across his back in a diagonal line. He'd gotten the wound from his fight in the final battle. Ron (may he rest in peace) had been under Imperius and had taken a dagger to Harry's back. Without thinking, Harry had shot the killing curse behind him before moving on to the next Death Eater. It wasn't until later when he realized that he had killed his best friend, and that his best friend had tried to kill him. The guilt had set in, like a large mass of flesh eating potion slowly eating away at him.  His guilt had only grown when Hermione had taken her life after hearing about Ron, her husband’s, death.   

Harry smiled unconsciously when he remembered the months he'd spent with Severus leading up to the start of their relationship. How just being with the man had helped him to over come at least some of his grief and allowed himself to believe he was atoning himself by taking care of the other man when he needed the help.

Going over to the wash basin, he brushed his teeth and his vision clouded as he remembered his and Severus first kiss. The man had been limping from carrying several heavy cauldrons before Harry had managed to tug them away. After placing them on the desk, he'd turned around to find Severus staring at him strangely. The moments in between were fuzzy, but he clearly remembered the ache in the small of his back from the edge of a lab table as Severus pressed against him, kissing him with passion.

Harry spit into the sink and rinsed out his mouth. Putting on a clean pair of boxers to cover up his disfiguration, he silently checked his mental time table to try to fit in time to go to the clinic. There was no way he'd go to a wizarding hospital; he didn’t want his life posted on the front pages of the Daily Prophet again. Besides, he'd already checked in all the wizarding texts he could find, not one of them held any cases of a wizard having cancer. So, once again, it looked like Harry Potter was an exception.

Sighing, Harry ran a hand through his damp hair and walked out of the bathroom, making his way over to the closet to put on the day's clothes, ignoring Severus' silent regard.

Severus watched Harry for a few more moments, hoping that his lover would suddenly turn around and everything that had been bothering him would spill from his lips and Severus could start helping him. Granted, Harry usually confided in Severus, but he couldn’t seem to shake the thought that Harry was hiding something. He was trying to be patient, but his patience only stretched so far.  With a quiet sigh, Severus got up from the bed and went about his morning routine; shifting his thought to happier memories in an attempt to convince himself that everything would return to normal shortly.

It wasn’t long before Severus made his way back into the bedroom, where he pulled on his traditional black robes, trying to ignore the nagging ache in his right knee. He could blame it on the humid weather, but his frustration over Harry was the real culprit.

Turning back to said husband who was lounging on the bed with a thoughtful, slightly unhappy look about him, Severus closed the distance between them and offered him a chaste kiss before pulling back and sifting his fingers through the short inky strands. “Ready to go?” he asked softly.  Most of their things had already been sent ahead to the country house where they would be spending their summer holiday.

Harry smiled and nodded, leaning into the warm fingers running through his hair before standing up with Severus' help. He looked down when Severus winced. Brows crinkling in concern, Harry looked up and met the obsidian gaze. "Is your knee bothering you again?"

"It’s nothing,” Severus insisted. Noting the concern written on his husband's face he realized that Harry did not believe him.  Severus slipped his arms around the man’s thin waist and pulled him closer. “I’ll be fine, Harry,” he assured him.

Leaning up, Harry kissed Severus' cheek with a small smile before gently detaching himself. "We better get our bags and go out to the Apparation spot before it starts raining," Harry spoke, looking up at the tiny slit of a window set high into the stone wall. The sky was fairly dark and it looked like it was going to be a heavy rain fall. Harry was worried about Severus' leg, but he knew there wasn't much they could do about it.  Harry did try his best to ease Severus’ comfort when it got really bad by giving the leg a thorough massage.

They walked out of the bedroom and into the large chamber. Harry levitated the bags and charmed them to follow Severus and him as they walked out to the Apparation point outside of Hogwarts’ grounds. Harry smiled when the older man slipped an arm around his waist. Resting his head on the broad shoulder, he sighed happily, trying to take his mind off his visit to the emergency clinic that he knew he'd be making later in the afternoon when Severus and him had settled down in their cabin.

Severus looked down at Harry contentedly. A long vacation was just what the Doctor ordered. He guided them and their luggage to the Apparation point and they were gone.

Their house was a two story, colonial style, tucked neatly away in one of England’s few remaining forests. Severus had sold his family manor in his early twenties and was technically financially indestructible for several lifetimes over, but he did enjoy his work, even with the horrible students. The long vacations were also very enjoyable.

After the affects of the Apparation had worn off, he led Harry and their luggage into the house, lit a fire and sent their luggage off to unpack itself. Once that was done he settled onto the sofa, his good leg tucked under him and his back against the armrest.  He beckoned Harry to come over, which he gladly did. Severus sighed contently as Harry’s back melded to his front and the younger man got comfortable. “Hmmm...This is much more preferable to frightening ungrateful students into learning,” he purred, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist and inhaling his familiar scent deeply.

Harry smiled and laid his hands on top of Severus' own, relaxing once it was clear that Severus wasn't planning on taking anything further a cuddle. "I guess it doesn't help with me taking over Filch's job." The squib had finally decided to retire with his cat after complaining that the stress was getting to him and that the 'idiotic students were troubling Mrs. Norris's poor heart condition.' The job wasn't all that hard. Though Peeves really gave Harry a run for his money with his antics.

He usually had to spend an hour or two walking around the hall ways, making sure the students weren't out past curfew. When Dumbledore had finally given him back the Marauder's Map it had cut down on the number of hours he had to spend wandering the halls, and he found the castle would sometimes create short cuts for him so he wouldn't have to walk all the way across the castle just to catch a few students. And with the new free time, he was able to spend it with Severus back in their chambers. Though for the past week since Harry had discovered the lump on his testicle while showering they hadn't had any intercourse. Harry had tried to distract Severus by giving him plenty of blow jobs and other pleasures, but he didn't think he could hold out that long with the way Severus kept trying to return the favor.

Severus sighed contently again and leaned back against the cushions, keeping his grip on Harry. In these past few weeks he’d been too distracted with exams to really notice it, but he had missed being with Harry, even if it was just cuddling. He still didn’t believe it was the end of year stress because his beloved had a nagging guilt complex that tended to keep him from admitting when something was wrong, but it was summer now and they could both relax. 

“Hmm... well, I suppose things got a bit easier after you got that godforsaken, Slytherin insulting map.” he smiled a little when Harry snorted. “Speaking of the Marauders, when is Remus due again?” he paused for a moment and shook his head. “I still can’t believe Sirius is having pups; Merlin help us all.” He still looked smug even after Harry smacked him playfully. He had, over the years, made attempts to be civil to the man for Harry’s sake.  Old habits proved hard to break.

Chuckling, Harry turned his head and rested his cheek against the broad chest. "He's due in three months. It might be a bit earlier, though. Remus was saying he felt heavier, but that's probably because he's carrying twins. I feel sick for thinking so, but I'm almost glad Fudge died in the battle and Arthur replaced him as head of the Ministry. If it hadn't been for that, I don't think any of those stupid old laws would have been lifted. You'll have to make triple the Wolfsbane now," Harry added, looking up at Severus with a small smile. "At least we know that since they'll be born with it, their bodies won't react badly to it like Remus' does because his body thinks of it as a disease it needs to rebel against."

"Actually, I’ve been owling another Potions master in Russia about Wolfsbane and werewolves for a while now. I started when Remus no longer transformed the first month of his pregnancy; something about the greater ratio of human to werewolf in the children that was protecting them all. Remus will never be rid of it, but there’s a chance the children can…for lack of a better description, outgrow it. With the right potion regimen of course.” He paused for a moment. “I owled Remus about it three days ago, but with all the new owl checks because of the war, it shouldn’t be there until this afternoon.”

That meant Harry could probably slip out while Severus read over Remus’ response. He could always say he was going to a Muggle store for a sudden craving of sour lemon drops, since Severus hated going anywhere Muggle. "It would be nice if they could grow out of it. Even with the wizarding world coming to accept magical creatures, there's still so much prejudice out there. No kid deserves to be in the spotlight like that over something that's just second nature," he added with a small frown, thinking of his own childhood when he'd came into the wizarding world.

“Agreed,” Severus murmured.  Reporters had tried to continue to plague Harry after he’d defeated Voldemort, but Severus had quickly put a stop to it with his typical peel-the-paint-off-the-walls charm. On their honeymoon Harry had even jokingly referred to him as his body guard.

Harry smiled softly and leaned back comfortably against Severus' larger frame. The loud pattering of rain hitting the roof made Harry looked towards the windows, absent of curtains since they had plenty of privacy in the forest. He looked up at Severus when the man tensed slightly. Biting his lip, Harry looked down at the leg still hanging over the edge of the couch.

Gently detangling himself, Harry shifted around so he was facing Severus. Carefully pulling the leg up onto the plush cushions, Harry whispered a charm to divest Severus of his pants as he hiked up the man's robes until they were pooled around his naked thighs. Severus sighed, laying his cheek against the back of the couch as he watched Harry massage his leg.

Harry lovingly kissed the man’s long foot.  He admired them all the more for looking so manly compared to his own small feet.  He thought they were sexy as hell.  Then again, every part of the man was sex. Harry grinned slightly at the thought as he focused on his task with his head bowed.  His hair had long since been cut into a fashion that didn't allow his perpetually messy hair to get into his eyes. Shaved close at the sides and back, with enough on the top that he could spike it up into small spikes if he wanted to. Severus had confessed to liking the feel of it, saying it felt like peach fuzz and that the longer strands felt like silk.

Severus sighed as Harry worked his way up his leg. Harry was the only person he’d ever let near it because everyone else seemed intent on contorting him like an Origami crane. Harry was different - much gentler in his methods. It still ached when he touched his knee, but not as badly as with others, and his knee generally felt better afterwards.

He didn’t even realize he was ‘purring’ until Harry smirked up at him and commented on it. Severus merely raised an eyebrow and reached behind Harry’s head to pull the insolent brat down for a kiss. It was passionate to an extent, but clearly demanded nothing more than the kiss itself. Severus would help Harry, whether that meant waiting patiently, or pulling what was bothering Harry out of him.

They pulled back after a few moments to smile softly at each other. “Thank you,” Severus murmured, sifting his fingers through Harry’s hair.

Harry smiled brightly and tilted his head, "My pleasure," he spoke, running a hand up Severus' bare thigh, fingers dancing across the scattering of dark hairs there. The older man raised a brow and continued to play with his hair, stroking the short strands.

Grinning, Harry hiked up dark robes until they were around the man's waist and his hard cock was rubbing up against it. Wiggling around until he was comfortably lying down on his stomach on the long sofa, Harry bent his head and wrapped his lips around the thick organ, eyes crinkling in amusement when Severus groaned loudly.

Severus tipped his head back and reached his hands down to massage lightly at Harry’s scalp. Merlin, but the brat gave excellent head. Severus bit his lip hard and tossed his head back.  He sucked in a deep breath when Harry flicked his tongue along the slit of his member. It wasn’t long before Severus was tugging lightly at Harry’s head to pull him up for a kiss, but his husband was insistent on staying where he was and seeing him through to orgasm.

After said mind blowing orgasm, Harry was looming over him on all fours, leering and licking his lips suggestively. Severus reached up again to pull him down and wipe the smirk off the younger man's face with a sound kiss. Severus moaned softly at the taste of himself on Harry’s tongue and slowly ran his hands down Harry’s torso until he was cupping the firm arse; at which point Harry stiffened and made a point of removing Severus’ hands. Severus sighed slightly in frustration and grasped Harry by the shoulders, making him look at him, “Harry…what’s wrong? There’s obviously something bothering you and I do not at all appreciate the fact that you are hiding it from me.”

Turning his head, Harry rubbed the back of his neck and winced, "I just have a headache, so I'm not really in the mood." Harry glanced up and saw the approaching owl, obviously from Remus, the letter Severus had been expecting. "I think I'll go out and get some fresh air. Maybe I'll go to that Muggle shop that sells those delicious sour lemon drops," Harry gave a weak grin, making sure his eyes were narrowed as though he were still in a bit of pain.

Before Severus could comment, the owl that Harry had seen in the distance flew in through the open window. Severus frowned and let the small owl perch on his shoulder as he unrolled the parchment. Leaning in, Harry gave the older man a chaste kiss and whispered a goodbye before he slowly got up and went out of the cabin to the Apparation point.

Closing his eyes and picturing his destination, Harry Apparated with a loud 'crack,’ ending up in the alleyway just beside a large white building. Taking a deep breath, Harry walked out of the alleyway and into the building. He took the stairs up the floor that he knew contained the doctor that he knew specialized in testicular cancer.

Severus watched Harry go, angry and in disbelief of his headache excuse. He watched the spot he’d Apparated from until Remus’ owl nipped affectionately at his ear. Apparently Remus wanted an answer.

Dear Severus,

Thank you so much for the Wolfsbane and the wonderful news about the children! Passing on my curse to them has been weighing heavily on my mind for a while now despite Padfoot’s best reassurances. I know he’s still a prat to you, but I just wanted to thank you again for everything you’ve done for us and Harry. I’ve never seen him as happy as he is with you. Hopefully I’ll be able to help you out when he’s expecting. Don’t acted shocked, it’s obvious you were planning to get around to that eventually, just let me know when you do.

-Remus

P.S. Would you mind if I dropped by next Friday? It’s been so long since I’ve seen Harry and you.


Severus ‘hmmed’ in thought as he finished the small note. He may have detested the mutt, but Remus was actually good company and he considered him a friend, not that he’d ever tell Remus that. Summoning his paper and quill to him, Severus jotted a quick reply.

Dear Remus,

It's about time you learned to appreciate my superior skills. If you're capable of it, I can assure you Harry will welcome you into our home, despite any protests I should make. 

Your husband is intolerable and belongs in the dog house for the sole reason of existing.  I'm in awe of the patience you must possess to put up with him at the level of marriage and children. 

Harry looks forward to seeing you on Friday.

-Severus


He attached the letter snugly to the owl's leg and watched it fly away as he morosely dwelled on Harry.

~*~*~

Gloved hands gently felt his balls, squeezing them to feel for any deformities. Harry blushed. Only Muggle doctors were this personal.

The blonde man gave a resigned sigh and stood up. "I’m sorry to say you were right, Harry."

"I was afraid you'd say that," Harry admitted quietly. Dr. Ramsay looked at him with pity and motioned for Harry to get dressed. Harry quickly pulled on his jeans and t-shirt, taking a seat on the bench as he met the other man's eyes.

"We'll have to have a biopsy on it." Harry nodded.

He thought about the surgery and asked, "You can put it back if it's not cancer right?" Ramsay sighed and shook his head.

"We can replace it with a rubber ball," seeing Harry's expression, he continued, "you won't be able to tell; it will be very similar to your other testicle. It won't affect your fertility at all, or your sexual drive. Testicular cancer isn't unusual for a man at your age."

"I'm only thirty!" in wizarding years that was nothing.  The older a wizard got, the slower the physical maturing process was. So by the time Harry was seventy, he would probably look to be in his late forties.

"If it is cancer, which I don't doubt, it would be best to remove it now before it can spread to any of your other organs. We've caught it early enough that you'll probably only need a few radiation treatments to properly treat you incase it has spread to any other area."

"And if I don't go through with the procedure?"

"The cancer will spread and you will die,” the doctor replied frankly.

"I was afraid you'd say that." Harry sighed and bowed his head. "I'll think about it." He raised his head and looked at the doctor. "Is it okay if I come back on Friday if I do decide to go through with it?"

"Yes. You don't need an appointment. Since you stated that you wanted this kept under wraps, you can come in at any time during the afternoon and I'll be here to take you in for the surgery and then the radiation will follow it up. The biopsy is a fairly quick procedure and I'll be able to tell if it's cancer or not. But if it is, which I have no doubt, I'll replace your testicle with the rubber one and begin radiation."

Harry nodded and left the clinic to go back to the alleyway to Apparate home to Severus.  The man was probably a bit crabby since the appointment had taken longer than expected and Harry had only told him that he was going out to get some lemon drops. He didn't want Severus to know he was even more abnormal. Especially after hearing about the man's past lovers. All younger than Severus and with the bodies of Adonis (if the pictures he'd seen of them were any indication). They were virtually perfect. Harry Potter was everything but.

Severus looked up from the book he had been reading when Harry walked through the door and was prepared to snap at him a little for taking so long and worrying him.  Harry looked pale and more drawn then before.  “Clearly the little walk did not help?  I see you have not returned with lemon drops of any sort.  Am I to assume that you wandered the streets in desperation to find said treat?” Severus said sarcastically, a little more biting than usual.

Harry worried his bottom lip.  He knew he should have stopped in to grab a bag of lemon drops.  But he’d only wanted to get home.  He didn’t think he could stand for much longer.  His knees felt so shaky…

“I sat down in the park and ate them.  It helped my headache a bit to sit in the fresh air.”

Severus’ brow rose.  “You ate an entire bag of lemon drops?”

Harry thought fast.  “I shared them with a few children.”  He toed off his sneakers and went further into the living room.  “I’m going to go lie down.  I think all that sugar is upsetting my stomach now,” he added, smiling sheepishly.

Severus looked at Harry critically.  “I don’t appreciate being lied to, Harry.”

“Severus…”  Harry sighed, exasperated, as he ran a hand through his hair, suddenly looking very tired.  “Don’t you trust me?”

Severus stood and walked to stand right in front of Harry before he answered.  “You are your own worst enemy, Harry.  You have had a long standing habit of endangering yourself in order to try to spare others.”

Harry shook his head, feeling a hint of anger bubbling up.  He was too tired for this third degree.  “I’m going to bed.  I’m not lying when I say I’m really tired.”  He started to shuffle towards the bedroom, eyes narrowed as a real headache started to throb at the base of his head.  A hand on his arm stopped him.  He tried to shake it off, but he was feeling too weak to fight Severus’ strong grip.  “I’m not going to stand here and let you ream me out because you’re overly suspicious.  If you won’t let me get to sleep, I’ll go to Remus’ and sleep there.”  His stomach was even starting to retaliate against him.  He knew he was feeling worse by the minute because he hated lying to Severus with a passion.  But it couldn’t be helped.  Maybe he would tell Severus after all this was over.  He’d already made his decision.  He’d settle for a rubber ball if it would save his life and let him live for a few hundred more years at Severus’ side.

“Maybe you should just go do that then!” Severus hissed, his own anger brewing over.  He had shared his life and his home with this man for five years and he didn’t trust him enough to tell him what was wrong?  A dark thought flitted across the recesses of Severus’ mind.  What if he had another lover?  He let Harry go so forcefully that he stumbled backwards, into the wall.  “I certainly don’t feel comfortable sleeping next to someone who’s keeping secrets from me!  I know that you’re hiding something, Harry, did you think you could really keep me in the dark after all this time?”

Harry slumped against the wall.  Maybe he wouldn’t be getting those few hundred more years with Severus.  He had to give something at least, or Severus would no doubt throw him out. 

“I love you, Severus.  I… I have some things going on right now that I need to work through.  It has nothing to do with you, I promise.  I just need some time…”

Severus looked hard at Harry for a moment.  He was quite tempted to rail against him; to tell him how much time he’d already had...but it wouldn’t have done much good.  Harry was very nearly as stubborn as he was, and from the slightly panicked look about the young man Severus could assume that he’d gotten the message across just how serious he was.  “I do expect that you will tell me what’s going on soon, Harry,” he said, staring at the young man levelly.

“Soon,” Harry promised.  Though, his definition of ‘soon’ was probably farther off than Severus was hoping for.

Seeing that Severus wasn’t going to say anything further, Harry shuffled away, up the steps and into the bedroom.  He took everything but his boxers off, tossed the clothes on the floor near the bed, and slipped under the covers.  He adjusted the pillow underneath his head until he could hold it tightly against his chest while he hid his face in the plump material.  He didn’t want to cry, but he didn’t know how else to react when he was facing the chance of death and Severus possibly leaving him because he was being too secretive.

Severus watched the staircase for a few long minutes before he slowly followed Harry up the steps.  He found Harry in their bed curled into the fetal position and looking miserable.  With a sigh, Severus began stripping off his clothes and meticulously placing them away.  Then he slipped beneath the covers and slid over to Harry, gently spooning him.  As angry as his husband’s secrets made him, they also worried him.  He pressed a small kiss to the top of Harry’s head.  “Do you want a potion?” he asked quietly looking at the back of Harry’s head as they lay together.

Harry nodded.  “I could use a Calming Draught,” he said.

He felt another dry kiss pressed to his bare shoulder before Severus slipped out of bed.  He listened to the man sort through their medicine cabinet over the bathroom sink. 

The bed dipped as Severus slid in behind him again.  Harry sat up, took the single dose vial from Severus and swallowed it quickly.  He settled back down, stretching out an arm to place the vial on his nightstand before he loosely wrapped his arm around his pillow.  Severus curled around him, and soon, his thoughts calm and almost dreamy, Harry relaxed into sleep.


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This is a Harry Potter and Severus Snape Slash archive, and is not intended for those who are either not of age, or uncomfortable with homosexual situations. There may also be some situations where a minor has sex with an adult, you have been warned.
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